Einstein is an (un)official candidate for Mayor in 2014.

Einstein is a very smart dog, but deeply believes in trans-species democracy, so he is posting his platform and encouraging the citizens of the City & environs of Oakland to make changes and suggestions. Here is the platform, please chime in. You can create an Oakland Wiki account at this page: http://oaklandwiki.org/Users/register/?next=/


Planks pertaining specifically to humans

  1. The top priority for Mayor Einstein will be that all Oakland’s residents have a livable income.
  2. To eliminate the endless struggle for minimum wage increases, the highest compensation for labor of any kind shall be no more than seven-times the lowest. That way, if the boss wants more money, then the boss will have to give a raise to the lowest-paid employee of the company.
  3. Residents of Oakland shall not be displaced from their homes because of financial hardship artificially created by the Wall St. agents of privatization and gentrification. Financial institutions shall prove ownership of mortgages on homes they seek to foreclose.
  4. A publicly owned and operated Bank of Oakland shall be instituted. This bank shall retain and manage City revenues and pension funds. Interest collected from loans issued by the Bank of Oakland shall be directed to providing Universal Service, meaning that all profits shall be directed to keeping the costs of these services as low as possible and to providing them more extensively. FINANCIAL AUTONOMY FOR OAKLAND!
  5. The City shall be re-districted to create [500+-] electoral districts, each to be represented by a City Council member. This initiative will provide much greater access to power for residents. Council Members will be more in-touch with those they represent.
  6.  Stronger weapon-control laws shall apply to everyone within the City’s limits, including law enforcement officers.
  7. Those detained or taken into custody by law enforcement officials shall not be harmed or abused, but shall be shown the respect due to persons innocent of any crime. Detention may be necessary, in some instances, before the conviction of guilt is made, but it must be remembered that detention violates the principle of innocent until proved guilty. This violation must not be seen as opening the door to further abuses of detained individuals.
  8. Those found guilty of criminal offenses shall not be ostracized or shamed.
  9. Penalties for crimes shall be apportioned according to wealth. Those with greater access to power due to cultural privilege and wealth shall be held to higher standards of compliance to laws.
  10. Only those found guilty of dangerous crimes (e.g. bodily harm or threats thereof, and interfering with the healthy development of minors) shall be incarcerated while undergoing compassionate diagnosis and therapy.
    1.  All others convicted of criminal infractions shall submit to compassionate diagnosis and therapy.
    2. Subsequent offenses shall result in denied access to public goods and services until the benefits of     continued therapy are demonstrated.
  11. Oakland shall not tolerate surveillance. In further adherence to the principle of innocent until proved guilty, Oakland City Government shall not collect data on residents for hypothetical legal purposes, and shall block surveillance by other government agencies.
  12. City funds currently designated for the purposes of surveillance and the militaristic intimidation of residents shall be re-directed to increase the number and compensation of social workers, nurses and teachers.
  13. The murderer of Alan Blueford, Gary King, and Raheim Brown shall be brought to justice.
  14. All Oakland Police Officers shall be residents of the municipal districts they patrol. California laws blocking this initiative shall be successfully challenged based on the lack of accountability police officers currently have to residents they are sworn to serve.
  15.  “One Room Schoolhouse”. Schools (elementary, middle, high, and community college) shall be consolidated with senior and child-care facilities. Greater compassion and empathy will be the fruit of de-segregating the population by age and creating age-diverse community cultural centers. This will greatly improve the efficient provision of auxiliary services, such as meals, custodial and maintenance services, counseling, and crisis intervention. Economies of scale will result in more funds available for developing art, music, and athletic abilities. This facilities model will provide opportunities for many innovative educational models and greater availability of teaching assistants.
  16. Health care, housing, education, and insurance shall be re-modeled to conform with the principle of Universal Service, described above in Plank 3.
  17.  Oakland shall develop a single-payer health care system.
  18. The City shall convert [1,000 acres +-] within the City’s limits to areas for growing organic non-GMO food.
  19. In order to reduce commercial sprawl, retail shall be consolidated vertically in multi-storey retail structures.
  20. Oakland shall create areas for short and long-term urban camping. These will serve as alternatives for those who qualify for supportive housing but are – for various reasons – unable to comply with the rules of City-managed housing. These urban camping areas shall be provided with permanently installed, well-maintained bathroom, shower, and cooking facilities. Additionally, if some residents prefer to live in primitive conditions, they should have the opportunity to do so. After all, why should independence be experienced only by those with great wealth?
  21. All City development projects shall be awarded to local contractors. [“Local” shall be defined so as not to prevent the City from acquiring needed services.]
  22.  To curtail air pollution, the routes of diesel transport vehicles shall be confined to Interstate freeways (580, 880, 980) and Rte. 24, with allowance to access only the Port of Oakland and warehouses and industries, which shall be confined to an area bordered by the Port, freeway 880, San Francisco Bay, and the Oakland Airport. No diesel transport vehicles shall be allowed outside these areas or off these corridors while they are within the City’s limits.

Planks pertaining specifically to animals

  1. The murderer of our dog friend Gloria shall be brought to justice.
  2. Human companions of dogs with heavy coats will be encouraged and assisted in keeping their dogs close-trimmed from May 1-October 1, which will allow time for their coats to grow in before it gets cold.
  3. The City shall assist humans who adopt animals in need of homes. This will serve to propagate love. This assistance shall include: human companion training, veterinary services, and short-term boarding facilities.
  4. Animal sanctuary/adoption facilities, maintained and/or supervised by publicly appointed city officials, shall be the sole source for animal companions.
    1. These facilities shall have a qualified veterinary assistant on site at all times.
    2. Qualified veterinarians shall be onsite for no less than [80+-] hours per week and shall be available     for immediate summons at all other times.
  5. Corporations shall not be recognized as the companions of animals, and, thus, shall not be recognized as humans.
  6. At least one day per year shall be set aside as a municipal holiday for animals.
    1. Human residents will be encouraged to assist the animals they care for to participate in a parade of     the City’s domesticated animals.
    2. Awards will be given in the form of credits for animal services, e.g. organic and non-GMO food,         health care, day care, to all humans who escort their animals in the parade.
  7. Parks that can be enjoyed by dogs and humans shall be dispersed in all of Oakland’s neighborhoods.
  8. Animal abusers shall not be imprisoned but shall, instead, complete animal socialization training, which will include assisting animal resource providers.